https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai en-us Podomatic RSS Generator Thu, 09 Jan 2025 18:46:55 +0000 comedy, ,music, ,songs, ,limericks, ,gags, ,weird,Music Copyright 2025 Honky D Songs. Travel Size. episodic true no https://assets.podomatic.net/ts/3a/85/a7/malkavai/1400x1400_2986591.jpg https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai Honky D These are my Microsongs, travel-size songs and tunes direct from my id to your fertile imagination. Each song is crudely recorded and includes an illustration to help you (not) understand it. Frankly there's not much to understand. Just listen and don't freak out, that only makes it hurt more. https://malkavai.podomatic.com/entry/2020-07-13T21_15_37-07_00 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2020-07-13T21_15_37-07_00 Tue, 14 Jul 2020 04:15:37 +0000 2022-04-20 2020-07-14 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2020-07-13T21_15_37-07_00 Honky D 8 Life is short. I can't think of a time when it ever felt like it shorter. Make the most of it. I'm not fucking kidding. Life is short. I can't think of a time when it ever felt like it shorter. Make the most of it. ... https://malkavai.podomatic.com/entry/2020-04-18T10_28_41-07_00 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2020-04-18T10_28_41-07_00 Sat, 18 Apr 2020 17:28:41 +0000 2022-04-20 2020-04-18 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2020-04-18T10_28_41-07_00 Honky D 3 It's a song for our times, about a little dog I live with who kind of lacks social skills named Lily. If you're not distant enough, she will probably bark at you. It's a song for our times, about a little dog I live with who kind of lacks social skills named L... https://malkavai.podomatic.com/entry/2019-03-16T20_57_41-07_00 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2019-03-16T20_57_41-07_00 Sun, 17 Mar 2019 03:57:41 +0000 2022-04-20 2019-03-17 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2019-03-16T20_57_41-07_00 Honky D 16 I made up this microsong while on my first successful Lime scooter ride (I'd tried before and either didn't "get" it or got a bum scooter). I was pretty happy about it, so I rang the little bell on the handlebar while I tooled down the street singing this dumb tune. Anybody in earshot probably thought I was insane. So be it! I made up this microsong while on my first successful Lime scooter ride (I'd tried before and eit... https://malkavai.podomatic.com/entry/2019-02-23T15_01_00-08_00 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2019-02-23T15_01_00-08_00 Sat, 23 Feb 2019 23:01:00 +0000 2022-04-20 2019-02-23 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2019-02-23T15_01_00-08_00 Honky D 55 This is one of the "original" microsongs, by which I mean it appeared on a collection I distributed about 20 years ago called "Cook A D: The Microsongs of Honky D" (on high fidelity audio cassettes!) Featuring guest talent (a rarity) from Tim Koch, John Seymore and Robert Topping, it's a stultifyingly simple ode to doin' it. This is one of the "original" microsongs, by which I mean it appeared on a collection I distribut... https://malkavai.podomatic.com/entry/2019-02-16T22_32_41-08_00 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2019-02-16T22_32_41-08_00 Sun, 17 Feb 2019 06:32:41 +0000 2022-04-20 2019-02-17 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2019-02-16T22_32_41-08_00 Honky D 8 Just some useful advice ... Just some useful advice ... https://malkavai.podomatic.com/entry/2019-02-10T22_27_08-08_00 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2019-02-10T22_27_08-08_00 Mon, 11 Feb 2019 06:27:08 +0000 2022-04-20 2019-02-11 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2019-02-10T22_27_08-08_00 Honky D 10 Okay, this song sounds sexual, and I went ahead and left that ambiguity in, but that wasn't actually the inspiration ... It's actually a song from the perspective of a heaven-sent piece of chocolate. But take it however you like. Okay, this song sounds sexual, and I went ahead and left that ambiguity in, but that wasn't actua... https://malkavai.podomatic.com/entry/2019-02-10T22_16_02-08_00 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2019-02-10T22_16_02-08_00 Mon, 11 Feb 2019 06:16:02 +0000 2022-04-20 2019-02-11 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2019-02-10T22_16_02-08_00 Honky D 10 Inspired a little by Kraftwerk I suppose, but in the dumbest possible way -- it's a little theme song for a proud, probably German villain. Inspired a little by Kraftwerk I suppose, but in the dumbest possible way -- it's a little theme ... https://malkavai.podomatic.com/entry/2019-02-10T21_59_39-08_00 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2019-02-10T21_59_39-08_00 Mon, 11 Feb 2019 05:59:39 +0000 2022-04-20 2019-02-11 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2019-02-10T21_59_39-08_00 Honky D 6 At long last, I'm uploading more microsongs! Been too long. Here's one that poses an age-old question, but that seems more relevant now than ever. If you'd like to make artwork to accompany this or any microsong that doesn't have artwork yet, let me know and I'll make it so. At long last, I'm uploading more microsongs! Been too long. Here's one that poses an age-old qu... https://malkavai.podomatic.com/entry/2016-05-28T12_37_39-07_00 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2016-05-28T12_37_39-07_00 Sat, 28 May 2016 19:37:39 +0000 2022-04-20 2016-05-28 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2016-05-28T12_37_39-07_00 Honky D 14 I can't remember exactly what inspired this song. I think mostly I was just mocking songs with dumb lyrics. This silly little ditty got better artwork than it could have ever dreamed of thanks to Certifiable Maniac, Kenny Pittenger! Wowzers! I can't remember exactly what inspired this song. I think mostly I was just mocking songs with d... https://malkavai.podomatic.com/entry/2016-04-27T17_40_23-07_00 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2016-04-27T17_40_23-07_00 Thu, 28 Apr 2016 00:40:23 +0000 2022-04-20 2016-04-29 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2016-04-27T17_40_23-07_00 Honky D 11 After a long hiatus, it's time to start uploading microsongs again! Here's one from last year. It's just me braggin' about my mad game. Check the anatomically accurate self-portrait, complete with scrawny limbs and beer gut! After a long hiatus, it's time to start uploading microsongs again! Here's one from last year. ... https://malkavai.podomatic.com/entry/2011-04-28T22_46_28-07_00 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2011-04-28T22_46_28-07_00 Fri, 29 Apr 2011 05:46:28 +0000 2022-04-20 2013-12-06 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2011-04-28T22_46_28-07_00 Honky D comedy,gags,honky,limericks,cro,magnon,caterwaul,microsongs,music,songs,weird 18 false This song came to me in a flash while driving. I recorded it on my phone when I got to a stoplight. I could not improve on this; it is exactly what I wanted it to be. But the illustration is even better! I particularly like the potted plant in the background. Mad props to kris.w for the funny funny drawing. This song came to me in a flash while driving. I recorded it on my phone when I got to a stoplig... https://malkavai.podomatic.com/entry/2011-03-30T22_37_41-07_00 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2011-03-30T22_37_41-07_00 Thu, 31 Mar 2011 05:37:41 +0000 2022-04-20 2013-12-06 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2011-03-30T22_37_41-07_00 Honky D audio,comedy,gags,honky,limericks,microsongs,music,songs,hippopotamus 18 false This one's for kids. Adults, you can enjoy it too if you wish. Thanks to William Wilson for the sweet hippo doodle. This one's for kids. Adults, you can enjoy it too if you wish. Thanks to William Wilson for the... https://malkavai.podomatic.com/entry/2011-02-15T16_14_19-08_00 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2011-02-15T16_14_19-08_00 Wed, 16 Feb 2011 00:14:19 +0000 2022-04-20 2013-12-06 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2011-02-15T16_14_19-08_00 Honky D pay,man,audio,comedy,gags,honky,microsongs,music,songs,weird 34 false This is a song about being almost broke ... and then, after you've finally knuckled under and paid that last bill, being actually broke. A good song for our troubled times, I suppose. Thanks to Jeff the Gill for the superlative artwork! This is a song about being almost broke ... and then, after you've finally knuckled under and pai... https://malkavai.podomatic.com/entry/2010-11-17T22_53_43-08_00 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2010-11-17T22_53_43-08_00 Thu, 18 Nov 2010 06:53:43 +0000 2022-04-20 2013-12-06 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2010-11-17T22_53_43-08_00 Honky D audio,comedy,gags,honky,limericks,microsongs,music,meat,pump,sodomy,sausage 5 true There is no suitable explanation for this. Certainly no excuse for it. You must take it and like it! Thanks to the honorable Mr. John Seymore for an illustration that really puts it where it goes. There is no suitable explanation for this. Certainly no excuse for it. You must take it and lik... https://malkavai.podomatic.com/entry/2010-11-13T23_56_14-08_00 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2010-11-13T23_56_14-08_00 Sun, 14 Nov 2010 07:56:14 +0000 2022-04-20 2013-12-06 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2010-11-13T23_56_14-08_00 Honky D microsongs,comedy,gags,honky,music,songs,sounds 11 false I sang this song to my dog, Rosie, as we sat at a light, on Laurel Canyon maybe at Riverside or Moorpark. There was a lot going on in the street -- people shopping, driving by, walking their dogs, all moving and making all kinds of sounds -- and Rosie's attention darted around spastically, like a tasered insect. I offered her this song, not so much to calm her down, but to distract her with a basic truth. Worked pretty well! Thanks to William Wilson for the strangely perfect artwork! I sang this song to my dog, Rosie, as we sat at a light, on Laurel Canyon maybe at Riverside or M... https://malkavai.podomatic.com/entry/2010-09-18T14_25_00-07_00 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2010-09-18T14_25_00-07_00 Sat, 18 Sep 2010 21:25:00 +0000 2022-04-20 2013-12-06 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2010-09-18T14_25_00-07_00 Honky D comedy,honky,microsongs,music,songs,weird,revenge,blood 28 false This is a song about a friend being hurt, and what to do about it. It could mean, "You lost some blood, and I'm going to get you a transfusion" or "Somebody hurt you, and I'm going to get you some payback." Or, ideally, both. Thanks to kris.w for the avenging illustration! This is a song about a friend being hurt, and what to do about it. It could mean, "You lost some... https://malkavai.podomatic.com/entry/2010-08-20T13_43_07-07_00 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2010-08-20T13_43_07-07_00 Fri, 20 Aug 2010 20:43:07 +0000 2022-04-20 2013-12-06 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2010-08-20T13_43_07-07_00 Honky D comedy,honky,microsongs,music,songs,weird,root,beer,float 61 false Here's a song that celebrates a simple pleasure, with perhaps just a little bit of gloating. Ideal illustration courtesy of Mr. Kenny P. Here's a song that celebrates a simple pleasure, with perhaps just a little bit of gloating. Ide... https://malkavai.podomatic.com/entry/2010-07-30T22_43_25-07_00 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2010-07-30T22_43_25-07_00 Sat, 31 Jul 2010 05:43:25 +0000 2022-04-20 2013-12-06 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2010-07-30T22_43_25-07_00 Honky D comedy,gags,honky,limericks,microsongs,music,songs,weird,exploding,shitbird 20 true This song is ... uh ... self-explanatory? There's not really a good way to explain it. More of a feeling than some actual thing. I think the artwork, by Paul Tibbitt, is doing it more justice than my feeble verbiage. Watch your head, and let the mighty eagle soar! This song is ... uh ... self-explanatory? There's not really a good way to explain it. More of ... https://malkavai.podomatic.com/entry/2010-06-30T16_42_57-07_00 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2010-06-30T16_42_57-07_00 Wed, 30 Jun 2010 23:42:57 +0000 2022-04-20 2013-12-06 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2010-06-30T16_42_57-07_00 Honky D gaza,community,mental,health,program,comedy,songs,weird,microsongs,music,gags,honky 32 false While I'm a very politically minded individual, I tend to avoid politics in my microsongs -- usually. This one is a bit of an exception. This song was inspired by a real thing -- the "Gaza Community Mental Health Program." I thought the very existence of such a thing was itself pretty "mental," as if Palestinians' problems were just all in their minds. They just need someone to talk to! That, and maybe not living under occupation might help. Before I stir up a hornet's nest, I think I'll just let the song, in which I was kind of channeling Elvis Costello, and the deft artwork from Mr. Kenny P, do the talking. Soon: more. While I'm a very politically minded individual, I tend to avoid politics in my microsongs -- usua... https://malkavai.podomatic.com/entry/2010-06-24T08_55_16-07_00 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2010-06-24T08_55_16-07_00 Thu, 24 Jun 2010 15:55:16 +0000 2022-04-20 2013-12-06 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2010-06-24T08_55_16-07_00 Honky D audio,comedy,gags,honky,limericks,microsongs,music,songs,weird,fuck,dicks 15 true I think this microsong might be better left open to interpretation. It could mean a lot of things. I probably thought of it as descriptive of annoying people, or worse. But for Andy Goodman, who provided me with this firm artwork, it might have meant something else. Use as directed. I think this microsong might be better left open to interpretation. It could mean a lot of thing... https://malkavai.podomatic.com/entry/2010-06-17T10_10_58-07_00 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2010-06-17T10_10_58-07_00 Thu, 17 Jun 2010 17:10:58 +0000 2022-04-20 2013-12-06 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2010-06-17T10_10_58-07_00 Honky D microsongs,honky,comedy,songs,music,stop,trying,control,brain,psychic,defense 22 false Every day, we are constantly bombarded by media that is trying to channel our thoughts, govern our opinions, and even dictate to us our own inner voices. I offer you this microsong as a meme of protection against such treachery; a counter-spell, if you will. Sing it and make the puppet master sweat! Thanks to kris.w for the illustration. Every day, we are constantly bombarded by media that is trying to channel our thoughts, govern ou... https://malkavai.podomatic.com/entry/2010-06-04T14_08_13-07_00 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2010-06-04T14_08_13-07_00 Fri, 04 Jun 2010 21:08:13 +0000 2022-04-20 2013-12-06 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2010-06-04T14_08_13-07_00 Honky D microsongs,music,honky,songs,comedy,zz,top,sharp,dressed,man,neanderthal 36 true Occasionally, a microsong is a cover of someone else's song. This is the first of those, a re-imagining (yes I'll go there) of ZZ Top's "Sharp Dressed Man." I could try to explain it but actually the brilliant artwork from the artistically well-endowed Kenny Pittenger does the job so much better than my feeble words ever could. By the way, we used to prank people with this song. The prank goes like this: compliment a guy on his clothes, "Wow, you look really good in that, I like that shirt," etc. Then one prankster says, "You know what you look like? You look like a ..." The "Sharp Dressed Man" annoying chant begins, and the victim suddenly realizes all those compliments were insincere after all! The chanting continues until the victim appears ready to explode. Truly delightful. I hope somebody does it to me someday. Occasionally, a microsong is a cover of someone else's song. This is the first of those, a re-im... https://malkavai.podomatic.com/entry/2010-06-02T17_33_50-07_00 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2010-06-02T17_33_50-07_00 Thu, 03 Jun 2010 00:33:50 +0000 2022-04-20 2013-12-05 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2010-06-02T17_33_50-07_00 Honky D microsongs,honky,comedy,songs,music,general,zod,superman,humor,jorel 18 false For my second installment, I offer you this microsong from maybe ten years ago or so. This song was inspired by General Zod from Superman II, when he ominously utters the two lines of this song to a servile Superman. Just looked it up on imdb; I didn't know Terence Stamp played General Zod. That guy is cool! Anyways, enjoy the shit out of this. It's made all the more enjoyable by a great illustration from my man kris.w. For my second installment, I offer you this microsong from maybe ten years ago or so. This song ... https://malkavai.podomatic.com/entry/2010-05-21T15_00_08-07_00 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2010-05-21T15_00_08-07_00 Fri, 21 May 2010 22:00:08 +0000 2022-04-20 2013-12-05 https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2010-05-21T15_00_08-07_00 Honky D microsongs,comedy,honky,limericks,music,booty 16 false Hello, Microsongs fans! It is a pleasure, after all this time, to finally get this up and running. Over time, many microsongs will be published here. I decided to start with one of my most popular microsongs, a little (and I do mean little) ditty called "Booty." You will find that some microsongs are funny; some aren't. Some have lyrics; others don't. All of them will include accompanying artwork. Today's "art" is by yours truly. Honky D. Sing this song to someone you love in a prurient way. I did for my fiancee, and she became my wife. Perhaps this is why. I doubt it, but who knows. Hello, Microsongs fans! It is a pleasure, after all this time, to finally get this up and runnin...